Only a few chapters into the book now I can see that this will be one of our greatest guests to date! We’re going to try and have Mike on this week for a pre-recorded podcast that will air on Webmaster Radio.

Keep your eye’s peeled for the podcast

NeO

Isnt Social bookmarking hip?

Now I’m not going to tag 8 other people but instead change it up a tad. The first 8 people to reply to this post… TAG your it!

So 8 random things about me -

1.) I have a black beta fish that sits on my desk and is named Morpheus. (yes I’m a Matrix geek)

2.) I watched Super Bad for the second time yesterday. Too funny!

3.) I can do the wave with my eyebrows.

4.) I met Kurt Cobain before he was famous. My Dad and Don Cobain still work together to this day. They were one of the first families we met when we moved up to Washington. And Kurt didn’t ALWAYS live with his Mom (so super fan boys & girls don’t email me)

5.) Ever since attending a “required” Zig Ziglar conference 8 yrs ago, I start every morning by slapping my hands together and loudly saying “It’s a GREAT DAY to get up and go get ‘em!”

6.) Since a lot of you will probably hear part of this on the blooper reel… I’ll spill it here first - When I was 5 yrs old my parents took me to see Jaws 3D. When Jaws popped out of the water I stood up screamed and wet my pants. (I was telling Brian Mark that story when we were about to record one day and he recorded the WHOLE story… except for my age) schmackel…

7.) I’m moving back to my hometown this week… after being gone for 13+ yrs (super exciting eh?)

8.) I can whistle Dixie, while eating crackers, and covering one eye… (and if you know what song that line came from… your just as redneck as me)

First 8 to post up your TAGGED!

NeO

Isnt Social bookmarking hip?

db

Isnt Social bookmarking hip?

I can’t express how pissed off I am at the fact that my matrix style phone which I paid $499.99 for a year ago last week is now not working when I slide it open!!! oh what I wouldn’t give to kick someone’s ass right now!

I can only talk to you on my speaker phone or my headset or if I jimmy the slider so the bottom is just a lil bit above the 8 or I hang up on you! This is not good and that means I need a fix or a new phone by the end of the week!

Not happy,

NeO

Isnt Social bookmarking hip?

Now I’m going to be using some big words if you boys are reading this… so I’ll go ahead and include the definitions when I use the big words…

Main Entry: emas·cu·late
Pronunciation: i-’mas-ky&-”lAt
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -lat·ed; -lat·ing
Etymology: Latin emasculatus, past participle of emasculare, from e- + masculus male — more at MALE
1 : to deprive of strength, vigor, or spirit : WEAKEN
2 : to deprive of virility or procreative power : CASTRATE
3 : to remove the androecium of (a flower) in the process of artificial cross-pollination
synonym see UNNERVE
- emas·cu·late /-l&t/ adjective
- emas·cu·la·tion /-”mas-ky&-’lA-sh&n/ noun
- emas·cu·la·tor /-’mas-ky&-”lA-t&r/ noun

So I suppose a quick bit of information is probably a good idea I mean… you can’t just put someone on notice and not explain why…

So people often ask me what it’s like being a SEO Consultant? Usually it’s a lot of fun, however from time to time you do run across some very unsavory characters…. So here’s the skinny… I’m contacted by Peter to provide SEO Consultation for his website (where he screws all of his dealers out of cash by breaking a contract that they have all signed, but we’ll get into that a bit later) Back to the Consulting… Well after bidding out the job and being told that he’d have a bit of work done (PPC program adjusted, and a directory submission package)

So a few months after everything has been completed I get a call from a crazy woman yelling and screaming bla bla bla (normal crazy woman speak) When I tell her she’s obviously called the wrong person… and that she’d best be stowin it… Who picks up the phone and says “you can’t talk to my wife like that!” And you Guaranteed me 1st place rankings on GOOGLE! I was somewhat surprised to find that it was a very emasculated Peter Daras on the other end of the phone…

Now this is where I got a bit peeved… First of all I NEVER guarantee 1st place rankings although several of my clients do enjoy 1st place rankings - I never guarantee that, as I do not have the recipe for the Google Algorithm and I even say on the front page of neo1seo.com that…

Most often, SEO companies and “consultants” that use spam methods can be detected by their slogans: they “guarantee” you a top-10 or a top-5 placement, in many cases without even specifying that the rankings will be obtained for the keywords you target. It is well publicized by many untrustworthy SEO’s that rankings are cheap and easy to get. That false conviction and the expectation it generates forces some SEO consultants to offer a guarantee of top-5 rankings. This, in turn, puts pressure on all other SEO providers to speak about similar guarantees, in order to remain in competition.

Such guarantees are misleading in principle. Top rankings can’t be put on a schedule like an advertising buy. Search engine’s organic results are not for sale, and this is exactly what helps them continuously remain popular: that which cannot be bought is trustworthy.

So that’s where he went wrong, in the second place I let him know that he never hired me to optimize his site, he has duplicate content on every page of his site, and that’s the only content that he has! So it’s hard to rank when your site is teh suks!

Now I would never call out a client… but because we never signed a contract (which is the reason that Andrew Medina is also part of the assclown award today) He originally contacted me by email saying that he was Peter’s Attorney… looked over my contract and made a ton of changes… called me, wasted an hour of my time… and then says “oh I should probably mention… I’m not actually an attorney, I’m peter’s accountant.”

(very professional IMO to impersonate an attorney)

That being said I’ll continue on w/ my marathon post… The main reason I wouldn’t work with Peter and his bunch of winners… is because they are a Wholesaler out of Florida… No big deal right? Well they sell cabinet hardware, kitchen sinks etc… Wow what a coincidence my Step Dad and his brother own “The Kitchen Place” and they actually buy from Peter as a wholesaler! Small world! Well then comes the kicker…. Peter says “Now if anyone I wholesale to finds out that I’m selling online under a different name I’ll be in big trouble!”

If that’s the case do you really think it’s a good idea to try and hire me even after I say my family is in the kitchen business? What an Ass Clown I mean really… how dense do you have to be? Oh and what a blessing that you had your Accountant / pretend attorney decline to sign any papers like the Non-disclosure agreement! LOL!

I honestly hope that everyone you wholesale to, that your trying to screw over, finds a new supplier… you are not only a crooked businessman your also the first n7v AssClown of the year! Way to go big guy!

Now that’s a look at some of the crap you have to deal with when your an SEO Consultant… complete and total idgits! But it is nice to be able to say NO I will not work with you, for you, refer you to anyone, etc… And I do have to say that for everyone of these types that I have to deal with I get to deal with 50 AWESOME people and that’s what makes my job one of the best in the world!

NeO

Isnt Social bookmarking hip?

So of course when you start out you want to look at the map from Outer Space… Simply because it’s cool.

Wow… wicked cool! what’s with all the traffic lights and cameras today? And look there - a button called Traffic and a button called Street View! Let’s take a closer look shall we?

Hey look it’s Berkley… I like Berkley lets Zoom in close enough to get a Street View…

Go ahead and click on that picture for an even bigger close up! LOL poor guy picked the wrong time to start lickin an ice cream cone!

What amazes me is the clarity of the images… the ability to do 360 degree moves up and down - side to side. This is surely going to bring up some privacy issues… I mean look at that guys shorts! I’m not sure I’d like a picture of myself on Google street view. Ah who am I kidding that’d be schweeet! Aight well I’ve had my fun for this morning… go and check it out it’s great fun to play around with - oh and if you want to find the guys in my pics here just follow the link - Berkley boy and his cone You’ll have to do some spinning to find them… but today he’s Google Map street view famous!

NeO

Isnt Social bookmarking hip?

Great video! All of the videos have been great…. Here’s a few others that I personally enjoyed cause they’re twitter buddies - Rebecca - Tamara - & Carolyn and Aaron - Cam - & Neil

I WILL be in attendance next year!

L8 M8’s

NeO

Isnt Social bookmarking hip?

Tom Papa - Alcohol

Well I hope you enjoyed the video… and there’s my post for today… if you’d like to check out some of the funny guys I work with give Comic 2 and Comedy Village a looksee!

NeO

Isnt Social bookmarking hip?